Meeting Expats in Nga Trang Beach

Yesterday afternoon I took a walk around the beach, and found a cafe to read a bit and have a coffee. LOVE the Vietnamese Coffee! They’re so tasty and strong, with a drop of condensed milk. Yummy, and gets me at the perfect high.

We went to the Rainbow Bar, where I was the night before. I’ve found my local hangout spots already and made myself at home in this town ­čÖé Then we went to Guava club, which is also where I was the night before and reunited with a couple friends I had met. I ordered vodka soda the whole night, and the Vietnamese vodka was half the price of Absolut, so I got that. And then realized that it was 45% instead of 40% which is standard for vodka. It definitely crept in later! Around 11 we went to Sailing club, also the place I was at before and had a fun night partying on the beach, and with my new friend,┬áJerry the Viet Expat promoter.

Funky Monkey – Nha Trang Boat trip

This morning I managed to stumble out of bed still intoxicated out of my mind onto our 8:30 shuttle bus for our boat day trip. Chad learned about this party boat from a local tour agency and had heard good things. It only cost 8$, so I went along for the ride, not knowing what to expect. Oh MYyyyyyy.. It’s moments like this I wish you were here with me traveling!!!! Photos and videos cannot capture it!

So we got on a mid-size boat with all travelers.. around 50 of us who quickly became one big family. Our boat tour guide is a local who nicknamed himself FUNKY MONKEY. He is wilddddddddd, crazy, hilarious, foul, very un-PC, and did i mention FUNNY??????????????? He was basically a stand up comedian with jokes after jokes, it was as if a monkey was juggling and doing tricks for us the whole time! The first stop on our boat ride was to a little island, where we all jumped off the roof of our boat into the water consecutively and floated around in rings for about an hour. Boys did flips off the top, music played. A lot of classics!! Bob Marley, Dire Straight, Eagles.. It was a magnificent view of an ocean filled with people from all over the world, stripped down to the bare minimum, sharing one common language: Laughter.

Then next stop we docked up to a shore for lunch/entertainment. The whole day’s event were just randomness after another, nutty to say the least. They sprawled out the wooden benches in the middle magically into tables, and quickly brought out about 7 different dishes (and about 5x the amount) around the table. Then we were given bowls and chopsticks each. We had to say something in Vietnamese like 1, 2, 3, GO! And then we all dug in like animals. It was funnn, food was cold and bland, but it reinforces that saying that it doesn’t matter how the food tastes (or where you are), as long as you’re in good company is all that matters.

Then the entertainment portion.. “Oh my buddha” (the guides saying, my new saying!)! Funky monkey announced that a famous boy band, bigger than backstreet boys would come out soon, they were flying on a private jet in. We knew that was a fibb, but didn’t know what to expect. Then all of a sudden, he and the kitchen crew came out with guitars and a drum and sang a few beats. Then it was KAREOKE time (there were no machines though). He called a Slovenian girl on stage, then a Bangladeshy, then a Taiwanese, then a French, an Aussie, English and sang a song with each of them to a popular tune from their own country. Very clever this funky monkey! Then he called me up as Miss America and he picked The Bangles “Eternal Flame” as our duet. I wished you could have been there! We acted out the song, “Close your eyes.. give me your hands.. (touching hands).. Do you feel my heart beating?? (acting it out).. do you feel the same.. DO YOU FEEL THE SAME!!!” We did twirls and basically gave the audience a show. (Sober) When the Columbian girl went up, he decided on La Bamba, so he made all of us get on our former dining table to dance. A pakistani man in front of me surprised me by shaking his butt and dancing wild. To say the least, we were in good company with a fantastic host!

Next stop, was to our ‘happy hour’. Didn’t know what to expect. And out comes some floating bar this guy has made… where its a large ring, he sits in the middle, has bars around where people can lay their legs on, and a little shot cup holder connected. He sat in the middle and poured us all some ‘funky monkey’ juice as we crowded around in a circle. Once again, the drink wasn’t so good, but in good company, nothing mattered.

To our last stop, some private island they charged us 1$ to get in. Which is ridiculous so a group of us sat outside to be rebellious. Then we had another hour to go by so we gave in. It’s just the principal! Where is this money going to? There was nothing special about that island! gagagaga. I was hungry again, and there were no food except a little lady sitting on a little chair selling quail eggs and hard boiled eggs. I got a bag of a quail eggs – just a smaller version of a regular egg, and ate it with some white pepper. What a snack. Then a yummy chocolate ice cream bar. Diet starts in August.

Finally we got back at 5:30, a lot of ‘see you laters’ to all our new friends around the world, and a promise to meet tonight. Theres a huge massive party on the beach that everyone has heard about. Some vietnamese fashion show, then I guess a rave like party at the Sailing Club which we’ve been going to.

Not a dull moment in the day. Full of laughter. Hedonistic life. I had a random thought, why can’t everyone in the world be funny entertainers? Then I realized that if everyone were entertainers, nothing would get done. We’d definitely all live in peace, but it would be a lazy world with no economy but drunken monkeys. But could it be so bad?

A few more days of debauchery and I’m ready to come home to the city!!! Ready to get back in the Hustle & make some money!

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